WORTHLESS NEWS

Garbage on parade

AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY MINUTES

January 27 2011
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JANUARY 27, 2011. 1. A suicide bombing at Moscow’s Domodedovo airport killed 35 people and injured more than 100. There were no admissions of responsibility but suspicion fell on Islamists from Russia’s restive north Caucasus, who have been responsible for previous terrorist attacks. President Dmitry Medvedev sacked several police and security officials for failing to…

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THE BIG BAD SPIES

July 24 2010
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When I was 10-years old, my friends and I would play “spies”. We’d follow strangers, ducking behind cars and into hallways so they wouldn’t know we were on to them. The funny thing is that the game is still played – for real – by American and Russian “covert agents.” It’s all fun and games…

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CHILDREN WILL PLAY

July 8 2010
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There is no adolescent game that adults enjoy more than spying. Russians and Americans continue to spy on one another as they did during the height of the Cold War. Of course, there is nothing to be gained by any of this. There never was anything to be gained even during that fiasco of a…

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SARAH PALEOLITHIC SPEAKS

May 15 2010
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Just glance two columns to the right and under TOP STORIES you will find“Palin pushes abortion foes to form ‘conservative, feminist identity’” [Based on a report from Amy Gardner, Washington Post staff writer, Saturday, May 15, 2010.] Putting down her binoculars this morning that she uses for spying on Moscow from her hunting lodge just…

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GREAT NEWS FOR AFRICA, SOUTH AMERICA AND SOUTH EAST ASIA

April 25 2010
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On Friday, I got my usual weekly bulletin from the Vanguard group of mutual funds. “The week’s economic news suggests increasingly blue skies ahead for the U.S. economy. Skies also turned friendlier in Europe.” For the week ended April 23, the S&P 500 Index rose 2.1% to 1,217 (for a year-to-date total return of about…

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IF YOU THINK HEALTH CARE IS BORING, TRY…

February 23 2010
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Health care is just a johnny-come-lately to the ranks of the boring. For a time-honored, maybe eternally excruciatingly miserable topic, try polls. Among those that will put an end to your insomnia are two summaries of polls compiled by Real Clear Politics. Yes, this gang actually boasts that its website is CLEAR. At any rate,…

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ONLY IN AMERICA

February 20 2010
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The Transportation Security Administration has apologized for ordering a 4-year old boy to remove his leg braces in order to pass through a Philadelphia airport metal detector. The buy is unable to walk at all without them……It actually came to a vote: in both Virginia and Georgia, a bill was beaten down that would have…

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…AND CLIMBING

January 22 2010
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My stat counter tells me we have now detected178,991 pieces of spam. Thanks, gang. Keep ‘em coming. Glad to know you that you know we are alive.

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WORTHLESS NEWS FROM COPENHAGEN

October 4 2009
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Representatives from 4 cities with nothing better to do than waste the time and money of their citizens bashed it out for the right to host the 2016 Olympic Games. Chicago, represented by amateurs such as Barack Obama, got knocked out in the first round of voting. Tokyo was beaten in the second round. Speculation…

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KEEPING LIFE AND DEATH IN PERSPECTIVE

August 26 2009
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I turned the radio on at about 6.50 A.M. and heard the news. I came in near the end of some babble about soccer matches and then the newscaster said, “Ted Kennedy died last night of brain cancer. He was 77 years old,” Wthout stopping to draw a breath, she turned to the baseball scores…

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REINCARNATION OF HEDDA HOPPER AND LOUELLA PARSONS

June 25 2009
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Beginning in the 1930s and running to about 1960, Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons feuded over who was Queen of Hollywood Gossip. Neither one, in their long careers, ever published an article that was worth a damn. Today, the gossip columns have been revised with a twist by MSNBC nitwits, Chris Matthews, Keith Olberman and…

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NOW FOR SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT

April 11 2009
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These stories are reported in Reuters News Service. 1. Karate expert kills two persons over a lice infection. 2. A Polish politician has criticized his local zoo for acquiring a “gay” elephant named Ninio who prefers male companions and will probably not procreate. 3. Motorist survives three accidents in one hour. 4. Skeleton found in…

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INSIDE THE COURTROOM

April 8 2009
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(1) Insurers Sued for $1 Billion for Allegedly Enabling ‘Dumping’ of Food Products From China Marcia Coyle, The National Law Journal What do fresh garlic, crawfish meat, canned mushrooms and honey have in common? A $1 billion lawsuit by their domestic producers against major insurance companies for enabling the “dumping” of competing food products from…

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GOD IS TURNED ON BY WOMEN

April 1 2009
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Moscow Times..……………………For some people, Gunter Sachs is more famous for his playboy lifestyle in the 1960s and for being the former husband of Brigitte Bardot than for his contribution to the world of art, but that is the focus of the new exhibition “Gunter Sachs. Photographer and Collector” at the State Museum-Reserve Tsaritsyno, part of…

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MISS UNIVERSE ENDS PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD

March 31 2009
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Every Miss Universe wants two things to make her life complete: (1) Solve all the problems of the world; (2) Move out from her parents’ digs and get her own apartment. If you CLICK HERE, you will understand why the current Miss Universe will have no problem achieving both these goals. After you pop your…

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PHELPS THE PHINK

February 2 2009
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“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Michael Phelps said yesterday. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my…

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WHO’S NUTTY, WHO’S NOT?

January 30 2009
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The Collaborative Psychiatric Epidemiology Surveys (CPES) were initiated in recognition of the need for contemporary, comprehensive epidemiological data regarding the distributions, correlates and risk factors of mental disorders among the general population with special emphasis on minority groups. The primary objective of the CPES was to collect data about the prevalence of mental disorders, impairments…

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009 KILLS HIMSELF

January 2 2009
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We don’t know why suicide is thought to be bad, sad or mad. We like it, and we think more people should try it – especially if they are of a certain sort. 28 people killed themselves this past year in national parks and that really is a matter of some concern. It’s like this:…

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2, 4, 6, 8. WHO IS IT WE DON’T HATE?

December 26 2008
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The results are in and they aren’t surprising. Gallup tells us everything we want to know and much we don’t give a damn about knowing. The survey of 1,008 adults, taken by landline and cell phone Dec. 12-14, has an error margin of plus or minus 3 percent. Oy, veh, vot a kuntree we live…

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UGLY POLITICS

December 18 2008
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The name of our website, WatchingPolitics.com is a misnomer and we have said so before. At its startup, our founder Sidney Gendin searched a hundred more appropriate names but they were all taken. He gave up and did the best he could. The fact is that here at WP, we are interested mainly in public…

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SARA, THE SAXOPHONE PLAYING WALRUS

December 5 2008
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Sara, perhaps the most talented walrus ever to grace a Turkish zoo, performs a saxophone recital at the Dophinarium in Istanbul on Dec. 4, 2008. She will play several concertos and her own version of “Body & Soul”. Move over, Coleman Hawkins, there is a new kid on the block. For a photo of Sara…

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CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS BUT I LIKE IT, ANYWAY

October 29 2008
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October 29, 2008 Excerpts from MotherJones.com/germ-warfare. 1930s – Lysol is America’s most popular contraceptive. 1956 – The air freshener spray can is introduced. 1997 – U.S. air freshener sales reach $239 million. 2008 – air freshener sales reach $2.3 billion. Undated 1/3 of Americans say they know they should wash their hands more often. 8%…

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THE CURMUDGEON REPORTS

August 26 2008
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August 26, 2008 AT MSNBC, Chrish Mathews and Keith Olberman, both of whom are now Obama shils, were ecstatic over the speeches given by Ted Kennedy and Michelle Obama last night at what is absurdly called The Democratic Convention. A better name would be the Quadrennial Democratic Festival. The festival serves no purpose but to…

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MICHAEL PHELPS AND THE POLITICALLY CORRECT

August 20 2008
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August 20, 2008 For several decades the politically correct have been bombarding us with linguistic demands. First, “negro” became “Afro-American”. Wait, that was a mistake. We were told to switch to “African American”. Wait, that, too, was a mistake. The right term is “black”. Oops, sorry, we were too quick. We really meant to tell…

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