Every night, television bombards s with quasi-news intended to supplement genuine news. The chief villains are Chris Matthews, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Tucker Carlson and Joe Scarborough. They fill their shows with guests who pontificate about election possibilities and speculations about what U.S. policy is likely to be about one thing or another. (Rarely about what it ought to be.) We tend to call them, derisively and justifiably, Pundits. They bore us to tears.

First, my apologies to the dozens of other pundits who deserve to be on this list. This is off-the-cuff and I am sure I omitted many worthies. That they are stupid and ignorant is something we could argue about but that they can all put you to sleep within 20 minutes is almost indisputable. They make these appearances without getting fees because being in the limelight regularly allows them to get on the lecture circuit where they charge astonishing amounts for one hour of wisdom.

They call themselves “political consultants” or “strategists’. Jon Stewart is lucky enough to have his own TV show so he is a real celebrity. Therefore he charges $100,000 “AND UP”. I left him off this list because, although he is the biggest crook of them all, he is not a bore. Nearly all these people charge at least $20,000 for an hour of their precious time. Here they are, the very best at curing your insomnia:

Jim Carville…..Mary Matalin…..Bob Beckel…..Michael Deaver…..Karl Rove (temporarily on the inactive list)…..Donna Brazile…..Ed Rollins…..Linda Chavez…..Alan Colmes…..Glen Bolger…..Dick Morris…..Lawrence O’Donnell…..Bob Shrum.

Goodnight, all. Sweet dreams.
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