The name of the game in Congress is making money. They all do. Many congressmen tried their hand as young men being lawyers but you can’t make a living that way. For example, “Democratic” congressman Alan Mollahan made $17,474 in his last year as a lawyer but he was losing money on stupid investments. So he switched careers. Now he has $24 million because his colleagues in the House taught him how to invest in real estate. Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach, so I dread guessing what his income was. Probably he had to hitch rides from home to school. Denny got into the Congress game and now sits on a wad estimated to be about $17 million.

What of the guys who want to be the next Leader of the Free World? Let’s ignore the Republican would-be presidents because they are ridiculous in every imaginable way. Let’s confine our voyeurism to the Democrats.

Hillary has $51 million. Part of this comes from the 29 speeches that hubby Bill delivered last year to the tune of $4 million. Party hack that she is, she voted the party line 96.6% of the time. Chris Dodd had better things to do than work. He missed 59 votes on his way to grabbing enough to increase his bundle to $2.3 million. Obama excused himself 23 times. He says he is working on a book. That means he talks into a machine and his ghost writer writes. This sweetheart collected $1.2 million in advances for his hoped-for blockbusters – 2 of them. However, he did make a charitable donation of $1900 to the Bush/Clinton Katrina Aid Fund. Good boy. Dennis Kucinich nobly traveled to a world peace forum – on your dough. He was reimbursed for his “effort” to save the world. Joe Biden does…. Does what? I don’t know. I know he missed 66 votes and signed a contract with Random House. Is he really writing a book? Only if Bill Clinton was too busy to have sex with “that woman”.

Barbara Lee, congress woman from Califiornia, is considered a joke by her colleagues. Here’s the proof: She hangs out in the congressional chambers. She missed only one vote. Probably because she had to go to the bathroom and her tormenters took advantage of the opportunity. Barbara picked up a cool $200 last year by renting her home parking space to some people. Perhaps she doesn’t have a car. She was on the lecture circuit a grand total of 6 times. Got no money but got free food on 3 of those occasions. She has an investment kitty of $800 parked with Merrill-Lynch and $2500 with Charles Schwab. Look, here is how it is: She is black, a socialist and deserves to be assassinated. Her friends on either side of the aisle would happily do her in if they could hire a hit man for $2.50. That’s all her death is worth in their eyes.

Nancy Pelosi doesn’t have time to try to be President. Presidents have to do things. Nancy has to tend to her investments. If you live west of the Mississippi, she probably owns your house. When she is not collecting rents, she pours Zinfandel into casks. She owns all of those in California. Although she has only $90 million, give her more time, please. Nobody knew her (except maybe Paul Allen and Bill Gates) ten years ago. Give her more time. Actually, Nancy lets her underlings run her business affairs. As Speaker of the House and the most powerful woman in America (Yes, ahead of Condi R) Nancy feels she should hang out in the halls of Congress. She didn’t miss a single vote last year. So, who is really The Queen, Nancy or Elizabeth? Nancy can make you get down on the floor and do 20 push-ups. Can Elizabeth do that? Only with that low-grade sycophant, Tony Blair. But he is gone, now.

There is a rumor that the freezer in William Jefferson’s refrigerator is on the blink. Where will he store his cash? Hell, he may as well go back to work. Well, actually he does work. He missed only 56 votes last year – supervising the refrigerator movers.