Last night, in the course of an otherwise tedious pseudo-debate, Hillary Rodham spoke out against torture. Good for her but her husband disagrees. In fact, every candidate for the job of LotFW (Leader of the Free World), with the exception of Dennis Kucinich believes that, in very special circumstances, torture may be acceptable.

The argument is the so-called ticking bomb scenario. The idea is that unless the person we are considering torturing tells us what he know thousands will die and time is running out. Torture is bad but we have no choice. In this case, it is the least bad alternative.

The argument is moronic and hypocritical. Here is why.

1. The person may lie to gain time. Meanwhile the bomb goes off. That makes the argument moronic. There is not a prayer’s chance of its being effective. At one point, Hillary spoke out against hypothetical cases; she ought to have done so in this case.

2. Here is why it is hypocritical: the torture is being used despite the fact that it is bad. The controlling idea is that it is required by utilitarian reasoning and utlitarian reasoning only. In that case, why limit the torture to the villain? (a) Most people react with greater fright when someone they love is being threatened with excruciating pain than if they are the potential objects of pain. Utility demands that we torture the wife, the children and the parents of the villain in the hope and greater likelihood of effectiveness. It is a terrible thing to do but that is conceded at the start. (b) The villain can demand that we torture the president’s wife (husband) and his/her family. He may insist that nothing less than this will satisfy him. It is no use replying that these persons are innocent parties because it is already conceded that there is no way to justify torture. All that matters is achieving the end. The end exonerates the means.

3. There is zero chance that Republicans Rudy G, or Mitt R, or Democrats Barack O or John E would find this acceptable. They are hypocrites and liars because the FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLE of all ethical systems, however they may diverge, is that moral rules must be applied universally. Not a single politician with the exception of Henny Youngman would ever say, “Take my wife, please.”